I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
