So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
