I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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