that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
