my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
