You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
