the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
