ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
