awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
