which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
