i don't plan on having that self control this summer
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
