She just used a chaser for red wine.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
two words...techno handjob
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
