I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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