sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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