Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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