He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize