girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
time to smoke my breakfast
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
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Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
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I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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