2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize