Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
