508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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