This is not my ceiling
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
