remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize