the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
two words...techno handjob
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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