More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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