I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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