Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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