and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Is it because I queefed?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
