Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
