so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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