so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
