Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
