He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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