dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize