No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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