Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
