you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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