It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
