Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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