I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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