I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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