ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
