took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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