Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
