cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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