it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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