whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
