So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
