Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
