just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
