Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
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I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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