I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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