Quick, to the slutcave!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
