One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
