my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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