I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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