Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
