White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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