I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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