what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
