Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
